Vegetables

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  • #1

Meet someone when you don't speak german enough

Hi everyone,

How do you feel about dating german girls when you don't speak german well enough?
I live close to the luxemburgish border, i work there, and have been living in Germany since two years now.
Is it possible to consider dating a german girl if she speaks english well enough of course, or do you think it is vowed to failure?
I have been said lately by someone that it would not work between her and me even if her english skills were good...
thanks for sharing your thoughts!
 
D

Dr. Bean

Gast
  • #2
Hey,
you know what they say: love knows no borders :). It's an absolute bullshit to tell you that having a language barrier it won't work. I happen to know a business partner who is from Luxembourg and he is a very nice and funny guy. His native language has about the same sound like the german dialect spoken in the Ruhr Area and it sounds funny. :) He learned german, living her and is married to a german girl.

So I dunno why that wouldn't work for you too. :)
 
D

Deleted member 20013

Gast
  • #4
@Vegetables
It's of course not destined to not work out.
But you might want to be prepared for additional efforts and particularly thoughtful communication, re-phrased iterartions and both of you probably need at least some awareness of the matter and patience for it, as well as some degree of tolerance for misunderstandings, esp because English is neither your, nor her, mother-tongue.
 
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Victor

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  • #5
Do not care about anything that another one wants to tell you about love. You got to get the answers you need by yourself, because there is nobody else like you. The sooner you stick to your own experience, the sooner you'll be able to make any progress.

I wish there was an easy way, but some day you get used to it and it becomes the most exciting chase in live. Good luck to you.
 

Zaphira

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  • #6
Hey @Vegetables,
welcome to the area... :)

Communication in a relationship is very important, the more if one or both are speaking another mother tongue. Misinterpretation and misunderstanding is more likely and I join @Synergie’s opinion concerning additional efforts to be made.

I myself have been married to a French native speaker. We both made the effort to learn the other one’s language - I did better ;)… It did not work out but not because of the language.

Have you tried to learn German since you are living here? Do you have German friends to practice? This might be helpful for a start. Give it a try!
 
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D

Deleted member 21128

Gast
  • #8
Ah, jetzt... :)
 

Zaphira

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  • #9
Ähem, ja, mir jetzt auch ... :rolleyes::D

Aber, könnte ja folgendermaßen sein:
Er Spanier, Sie Französin und beide kommunizieren auf Englisch..., oder so...

Wäre noch komplizierter.
 
D

Deleted member 21128

Gast
  • #10
Ähem, ja, mir jetzt auch ... :rolleyes::D

Aber, könnte ja folgendermaßen sein:
Er Spanier, Sie Französin und beide kommunizieren auf Englisch..., oder so...

Wäre noch komplizierter.
Ja, ist echt wahr. Lustigerweise hatte ich das sogar selber schon mal so, also dass Englisch für beide nicht die Muttersprache war. Und ich muss zugeben, dass es mitunter nicht so einfach war.
 

Serafine

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  • #11
Hi,
for me it's only a question of love and my firm will. If the language is presented at the beginning as a possible problem, it will not become easier in the further course.
If you listen to your heart, the rest will come if you both want it.
 

Sweclane

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  • #12
Ever tried OKCupid? You'll find multilingual people there.
 
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  • #13
I have heard that it should be possible to learn a foreign language - at any age. And the interest in another person or even love is certainly not the worst motivation. ;)
 

koerschgen

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  • #14
Ja, ist echt wahr. Lustigerweise hatte ich das sogar selber schon mal so, also dass Englisch für beide nicht die Muttersprache war. Und ich muss zugeben, dass es mitunter nicht so einfach war.
Da stimme ich Dir zu. Englisch ist nicht gleich Englisch. So finde ich das kanadische Englisch teilweise nicht so leicht verstaendlich. Fuer einige Wortverbindungen ("Codes") brauchte ich z. Bsp. zwei Jahre, um diese zu verstehen...:rolleyes:
 

IMHO

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  • #16
Da kommt auch mein Bekannter (der mittlerweile eine Ukrainerin geheiratet hat) wieder ins Spiel. Die beiden leben mittlerweile in Deutschland und verständigen sich überwiegend auf Englisch. Sie absolviert inzwischen den vierten oder fünften Sprachkurs. Dennoch wird fast nur Englisch gesprochen. Lt. ihm gäbe es keine Probleme damit.
Ich würde es nur als schade empfinden, wenn ich meinen Aussagen nicht die eine oder andere sprachliche (oder gar inhaltliche) Nuance geben könnte, weil mir schlichtweg das Vokabular fehlen würde. Für den "groben" Inhalt der Nachricht würde es definitiv noch reichen, aber stilistische Feinheiten blieben (vor allem anfangs) wohl auf der Strecke. Das würde eine gewisse Toleranz und Nachsichtigkeit auf beiden Seiten erfordern, da die Sprache dann möglicherweise als "sehr grob" empfunden werden könnte.
 

fraumoh

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  • #20
I agree with all people who a) say it s worth courting a German lady in English b) (I) strongly recommend ( whether or not u have a German partner) to show some respect &good will and take German classes.- best of luck ( English teacher with British ex)
 
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BelGhor

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  • #21
In my opinion it's truly fine to write/talk in english.
I personally like talking in english and would it find interesting to meet a woman from another country.
I'm using written english everyday at work, but I might still miss some words in my active repertoire (as I'm not used to talk much). If I hear them (passive) I've no troubles at all, but thinking of the right word while talking is completely different.

I also think it's quite charming and if both of you are not native in english it might even help. Sometimes you might need to think about an answer. In your mother language you might quickly seem dishonest, shy or quirky. In a foreign language everything is a bit more chilled and this can reduce awkwardness a bit.

So, don't be shy, just try!
 

Checknix

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  • #22
Oh my dear, although I don't speak english very fluently (lack of practise), I would love love love to meet a man which is talking english. And yes, though it would be a little bit rough during the first few weeks, it sure would get better soon. I don't know why but I am absolutely sure the right man for me is an english speaking man.
Ok, all the other personal characteristics would have to fit too...
Good luck to you